955. Go a whole week without watching any TV

I know what you’re thinking: “My God, a whole week? I can’t live without How I Met Your Mother/The Walking Dead/Big Bang Theory!”

But it’s alright, my friend. I love those shows, too, but we can do this. Just take a deep breath, set your TiVo to record all those episodes, and maybe read a book or go outside or something. Think of how many achievements you can cross off your list with a whole week free from the hypnosis of television!

959. Buy that thing you’ve been wanting

You know what I’m talking about. What is it, a digital camera? An HDTV? A PS3? It’s okay, you don’t have to pretend. We all have something we dream about one day owning. It’s just part of being a consumer.

Sure, it starts off with a little innocent window-shopping or ad-flipping looking for sales. Doesn’t hurt to just look, right? That is, until that brand-new, shiny blu-ray player catches your eye.

At first you tell yourself you don’t need it, that it’s too expensive. That the DVD-player you have is good enough for you. After all, your DVD-player has gotten you this far. It’s always been there for you, even when times were rough (like the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie).

But over time, as the love for your old, last-gen technology naturally fades, that blu-ray player becomes all you can think about. “It’s not you, it’s me,” you tell it. “I just keep getting these blu-ray movies for Christmas and I can’t even watch them.”

So, eventually, after saving enough pennies, you and your DVD-player part ways and you upgrade to the blu-ray you feel like you’ve always wanted. And times are happy.

Some day, years later, you may find your old DVD-player hidden away in some corner of the attic, blow the dust off its plastic exterior and think of all the good times you had with it. But those good times are over now, replaced with newer, better ones. I mean, have you seen the resolution on a blu-ray movie? Freaking incredible.

Remember: money can’t buy you happiness; it can only buy you things that’ll make you happy. So go ahead and splurge every once in a while!

Original photo found here.

960. Go up the down escalator

This is it: the ultimate battle of man vs. machine. This is your chance to shine, to say “screw you” to conformity and go against the flow of regular airport-goers and mall-shoppers (all while getting some gratifying exercise).

Any old pedestrian can go up the up escalator or down the down escalator. A million people do it every day. But only an elite few can muster the bravery, the leg strength, and the sheer lunacy to go UP the DOWN escalator. Are you one of them?

Original photo found here.